Doing Something for a Better Friendship

Friends are considered one of the most important people in your life. Isn’t it true? If we don’t have friends, our life is gloomy and dark and we don’t know where to go to if we needed help or someone to lean on. Friendship can go a long way into your lives but how can we build better friendship? There are a lot of ways to be able to build better friendship with your already found friends. These ways should be done by both involved because everyone should be working together to improve each other’s relationship.

To build your friendship more than ever each should always communicate. Communication is the basic way to keep in touch with each other. Try to reach each other anything through communication such as your wishes, hopes, needs, dreams and even your deepest thoughts or anything you like enjoy talking. Another is support each other through thick and thin and in saddest to happiest moments of each of your lives. You can do this through hugging and kisses to feel for them your comfort. There also times that your friends would not need comfort but time will come they will tell you they need it. Just respect their decisions sometimes. Better friendship could not be achieved without spending time with each other. It’s good to actually schedule a day in a week to spend time with friends. In this way, you could get to know each other and building bonds. And most of all to keep a better friendship that keeps it more genuine is the trust you have for each other. Giving trust to anyone is sometimes hard or sometimes easy but the hardest part is breaking that trust which is very slow to heal. So, trust each other. In this way, both of you can gain the loyalty that you didn’t ask for in the first place.

The most essential value to have a better friendship is trust, along with communication, time to bond, and supporting each other. Yes, gaining friends is easy to find anywhere you go but the real friends are always there for you all the time that are willing to help in times of desperation or celebration. These persons are the persons whom you chose to be your friends so treasure them and do something to have a better friendship today and even in the future. But most of all, you have to be yourself within your friends.

What To Do On A First Date

When you decide to take a woman out, the first date is always the best time to impress her. How things go on the first date will dictate whether or not she will go out with you for another date. So it is absolutely a must to be at your best on your first date. So to help you out, here are some tips:

1. Take a shower.

This is one of the most important things to do when going out on a first date, well even on other consecutive dates. You always have to look fresh and good, and smell good if you want a woman to go out with you. You have to up your game all the more when it is your first date.

2. Do not make her wait!

Just like in any business meeting when you want to land a client, you never make the woman wait. It is rude and unbecoming. When you come later than expected, the woman may feel like you have completely undermined and disrespected her time. Even on the very first date you need to show her how much you care and respect her by being on time.

3. Be a gentleman.

Every woman likes being treated like royalty. This is especially important on a first date. Make her feel special and pampered by opening the doors for her, and pulling the chair out when she sits down. Being a gentleman will greatly impress your date, and help pave the way to a second date.

4. Listen to what she is saying.

Avoid talking too much about yourself. When you listen to hear, you show her that you are interested and want to know her more. Listen to what she is saying and maybe you will have an idea what to say next.

5. Offer to pay.

It is appropriate for you as a gentleman to offer to pay. It may display an act of chivalry! However, other women would like to pay half of the cost. Do not resist.

6. Drive safely on your way home.

Take her home safely. Getting her into trouble would surely dash your hope of going out on a second date with her. Do not drink too much on your first date too. Having her drive your car because you are too drunk to drive will definitely leave her with a bad impression. 

Get Your Romantic Groove On

So what exactly makes a man romantic? Well, most of the times it is when a man pays attention to the little things that really get women to say you are romantic. A glance, a quick touch or caress across her back. Flowers and chocolates are fine. But do not you think they are a bit over used and cliché? That is not to say women do not like flowers because they do, but if that is all you have got then it will only go so far. You have to mix it up a bit. Change your style once in awhile and let your imagination run wild.

The key aspect in having romantic moments is to put the lady's likes ahead of your own.

Many men seem to get perplexed when they are faced with creating romantic moments with their lovers. But creating the romantic moments for you and your lover to enjoy is easy once to start to really think about it. All you have to do is take note of the things she likes and come up with an activity that will incorporate some of those things. You can create a romantic mood even if you just take a walk on a beach, or take her to that nice restaurant she has been dying to go to, or even just watching a movie with her.

It is all about making her feel chosen and special. In order to be romantic you have to make sure that you make her feel that your world revolves around her and only her. For instance, even just choosing to spend time with her instead of watching a ball game on TV with your friends will make her feel special. It is not only about making her feel that is special, you must also make her feel like you like doing all these things for her. Your lover will definitely say that you are romantic.

Whatever activity you choose to do with your lover, it will not matter much so long as you make her feel like you really want to do that activity with her. You need to pour all your attention at your woman and whatever you guys are doing. Never and I mean never make her feel like you would rather be somewhere else doing something else. Always keep in mind that you have to  concentrate on the project at hand since this is you who are trying to be romantic.

Now you know that being romantic is easy. You just need to think and plan a bit, and you can be romantic any day and anywhere. There is absolutely no reason to grab every opportunity to show your woman how much you love her by being romantic. 

Dating Guidelines for Women

Dating to most women is a nerve racking experience. You become paranoid about whether or not he will like you, or if he will still ask you out on a next date, or whether he likes your dress or your hair. There are so many things that could go wrong that most women back out. But do not lose hope, here are some dating tips that will help you calm your nerves and give you a boost of confidence.

1. Look good on your date.

This is a must! If you want to make a good impression on your date, looking good is always a good first step. Taking a shower is good but it is not enough. You have to wear an outfit that is both comfortable and eye-catching. Do not overdo it though. Try to think about what message your dress is saying, so make it appropriate too. Now, smelling good will also help you reel in your date. Put on a bit of perfume or cologne. Men who like what they see will often ask you out on another date.

2. Never be late.

It is acceptable for you to be fashionably late, what with all the dressing up, the hair, and the makeup you have to go through just to prep for your date. It is also somewhat good for the man when you run a little bit late. This can help them prepare and relax more. However, make sure you do not make him wait too long. He might think you are no longer coming or that you have little respect for his time.

3. Be lady-like and respectable.

Let the men be gentlemen and you a lady. If your date does not act like one, you do not have to force him. Part of being lady-like is being respectful. Now if the guy opens the door for you, let him. When he pulls out the chair for you, allow him to do so. Always thank him after every act of chivalry. This will show him that you acknowledge his effort in being a gentleman.

4. Offer to pay.

Okay, men are usually expected to pay but nowadays it is not always true. Offering to pay half of your meal is a thoughtful gesture. But of course if your date insists, then let him pay.

At the end of your date, let him take you home safely. It is up to you if you intend on giving him a goodnight kiss as a reward for a job well done.

The Good Old Regular Dating

The oldest and the most popular form of dating is regular dating. It gives you the chance to spend intimate time with your significant other.

If you are wondering what regular dating is, then it is when you and your significant other go out alone as a couple without other people tagging along. That would mean no group dates. Dates like this usually involve a nice dinner and an activity after such as going to the theatre, watching a movie or a concern, and even going dancing.

Everyone has his or her own idea of what a romantic time is. It could be dinner at a fancy fine dining restaurant where you and your date could dress up and enjoy fine wine.  Or you may prefer a home cooked meal by candlelight and still enjoy fine wine.

Home cooked meals would be best for you if you do not have that much money to dish out on expensive restaurants, but still want to make it special and meaningful. See, when you cook a meal for your date it shows that you have put more thought and effort into it. Some people enjoy this much more than being treated to a fine restaurant.

The regular dating experience could provide you the chance to know your date on a more personal level than when you are out with other people.

You can spend the evening talking and enjoying each others’ company. If you go on a regular date, it is most likely that you will end up getting to know your date a little bit more. But if this is too much for you on a first date, you could opt out for a double or group date.

As mentioned before, regular dates are designed to let you get to know your date on a more personal level. You could have a date over dinner, lunch, or even breakfast and then finding a fun thing to do after. Most people prefer regular dating due to the personal attention they give and receive as well as the intimacy. 

Got to Have Tips for a Better Relationship in Dating

Dating can be easy if you are an experienced person but to some, it is quite difficult even getting one a date. For a couple dating, sometimes they face many trials in their relationship. In the real world, having relationships does not mean they do not have problems on their own. Nothing is perfect when it comes to relationships alone.  But there are things that you can actually do to have a better relationship in dating for couples. What are these things needed for couples?

Communication alone can give a great impact in a relationship especially for those still dating each other. Why? This is the means of interacting and sharing with each other the likes and dislikes and sharing each other about their lives to know more about themselves. In this way, you can attest the acceptance of each party. It can make a better relationship in dating because through communicating with each other you can talk about the conflict and be able to solve the conflict together. That is why communication is vital in every relationship.

To have a better relationship in dating is giving each other spaces. This means that you should give each other a break for both of you to do stuff within your scope of interest. In this way, you and your dating partner can have a time for your own selves. Another thing you must consider to have a better relationship in dating is accepting the person of who he or she is and respect on her or his dislikes and like. This is because not everything can be the same interest with another person. There will be times that decisions can be made disagreeable to both but each of you should respect each other’s and decision and talk more about it. Lastly, give time for each other to bond and know each other more and more. Giving time for each other can build bonds.

Relationships keep a person going and sometimes make one strong. There are actually many hardships that you can expect in a relationship and especially when dating. The mentioned tips to have a better relationship in dating are just few but the only thing to have it better is for both of you to work together to attain your goal. Relationships do not flourish by destiny alone but by hard work from both parties in maintaining a good relationship with each other. The only you can make it better.

Relationship Counseling: Setting Up A Talk Session

All relationship counseling is about getting the two people in the relationship to talk to each other and start to try to understand each others feeling more. The problem that any relationship counseling advisor will tell you is that getting those two people in the same room for more than a few minutes and remaining calm throughout is the difficult part.

If you’re experiencing relationship problems of your own, here’s a few tips you can try yourself at home, with your partner, before you consider looking for qualified (and potentially expensive) relationship counseling services.

Plan a time when you are not likely to be disturbed. You will need maybe ten minutes if this is your first talk session, but it would be better to leave a bit of leeway after the session.

Turn off any music, radio or television, and put the phone on ‘answer’.

Set a kitchen timer, alarm or stopwatch for ten minutes from the start (or two five-minute periods to give you a changeover time).

When starting your relationship counseling at home, you should both come with a written agenda for one or two things you would like to talk about.

Try to have an agreement that you will not say hurtful things during the ten minutes.

Divide the time equally between you.

Decide who will start with their agenda items.

Switch over to the other person after five minutes.

If arguments begin, you could try to end by ‘agreeing to differ’ at the ten minute deadline, or if they are getting out of hand, you could just stop the session and plan to meet at another time.

In later sessions you could use communication training or negotiation as the main agenda.

In your later “in home” relationship counseling sessions you could extend the time, if you both agree that it is safe to do so, up to 20 minutes at the most.

This approach should be very helpful, and as you can see doesn’t involve any relationship counseling services – you can easily work through this plan of attack in the comfort of your own home.

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Relationship Help – Translating Requests Into Tasks

Following on from my previous post where we started talking about negotiating as part of the communication process, here’s how we can translate our requests into actual tasks that our partner can work on:

The question of doing the vacuuming and supporting you in front of George are still requests, and now need to be put in the form of tasks. Ideally these should specify when, where and how they should be carried out. You may have a weekly routine of house tidying, and the vacuuming could be slotted into this at a time which is convenient to both partners. Similarly the meetings with George probably happen at predictable times, and the tasks can be limited to those times. You may even want to specify the issues you want support on, such as when, for example, George ridicules your political beliefs or your taste in music.

The tasks should be reciprocal, so that each partner has something they can do for the other This is one of the most important aspects of negotiation. The partners should feel at the end of a negotiation session that they have both had their say in making requests and in setting tasks. Ideally there should be one, or at the most two, tasks for each partner in operation at any one time, and the number of tasks should be equal between them. Thus the woman may request that the man looks after their baby while she goes out with her friends, while the man may request that the woman lets him go out to the bar with his friends. If this sort of bargain is struck, the number of times per week that each task is to be carried out should be specified, and ideally this should be about equal for both partners.

It is not easy to get into this kind of agreement the first time that you try, and there may be a fair number of trials before you get it right. However, it is usually well worth trying something like this in order to get away from the repetitive struggles that people get into.

Making Sure That The Tasks Are Practicable

Before settling on the tasks to be done by both partners, it is important to make sure that both of you agree that they are practicable and fair. This will require all your negotiating skills, and it is not always possible to get it right the first time. It may require you both to make compromises, for example to settle on fewer nights going out than you would ideally like, or making a different division of household chores. The key consideration is to be practicable, and that may mean one partner at first making a few concessions in order to get the process going.

It is also a good idea to set tasks which are within the daily life that you have as a couple. There is little point in setting up plans to have an expensive vacation or an extension on the house as part of your exchange of positive behavior. It is much safer to settle on things such as weeding the garden, looking after children or doing the weekly shopping, since these can be repeated on a weekly or daily basis and you can meet frequently to discuss progress on them.

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5 Signs You Are Smothering Him

Men can be chocolate cake (or cookies, ice cream, pie, you get my drift.) You can’t just eat a baby piece and be satisfied. You just want to keep eating until you are satisfied but once you realize that you have eaten the whole cake, you begin to regret it.
Women have this problem with men because they have the tendency to smother the one they love. With enough smothering you realize maybe it would have been better to eat a box of cookies and go to the gym to work off the calories.

Don’t smother each other. No one can grow in the shade.

In this case, you would have been able to put some distance between the two of you. If you want to keep the love of your life loving you, then be careful of these 5 signs you are smothering him:

Going Out: Do you notice that your boyfriend has gotten incredibly busy lately without any major life changes? Talking on the phone, on the internet and spending all of his free time with you might be just peachy for you but he might have other things on his mind. This doesn’t mean that he doesn’t love you, just that he wants to hang out with his friends, play golf or just give him space to appreciate you. You do not have to spend every waking moment with him.

Walking Away: While you are out together, is he the first one to offer to get people drinks? Go to the bathroom frequently? Or any other reason to walk away from you. Once again, he wants to socialize and show off the woman he loves and admire her from a distance. He can’t do any of these things if you cling on to him all night long. It might even be good for you to make some new friends and get your mind off of your boyfriend.

Stops Communicating: If you obsessively call, text and email don’t be surprised that he just stops answering. Then come the lies like “I left my phone at home,” “My sister was on my computer” and “Really, you texted me? My service has been really weird lately.”

Frustration and Fights: What happened to the incredible patience that your boyfriend used to have? You wasted it about 40 texts ago. The more you close your man off, the more frustrated he becomes and as a result you end up fighting. Men need to be aired out. You can take them out for a while and then you have to leave them alone for a while.

The Break Up: The final sign that you are smothering your boyfriend is when he breaks up with you. There is only so much a man can take. You can try to win him back with promises that you will give up your smothering ways but it may be too late.
There is always smothering in a relationship. If you notice that your relationship is suffering from a few of these signs, don’t wait until the last moment when your man breaks up with you because you have been smothering him.
Just because you do not spend every moment together, it doesn’t mean that he loves you less. Let him go and you will see that he ends up loving you more.

Relationship Help – Try Role Playing

Do you have difficulty in understanding (empathizing with) each other?

I am not referring here to the understanding of everyday language, but to emotional understanding or empathy. You may feel that you have a fairly good way of communicating, but that there is something missing in your emotional rapport and that this is getting in the way of being open with each other.

Beware of too much openness

Before getting into the ways in which you can achieve more openness, a word of caution. In even the closest relationships there are some things that you might be wise to keep to yourself. A man who walks along the road with his wife and says ‘Look at that attractive girl over there’, is playing with fire if his wife is worried about her own attractiveness. He should not really raise that kind of ‘open’ discussion if he values his marriage. Similarly, a woman who praises a friend’s ability to understand her may be taking a risk if her partner feels that by implication she is saying that he doesn’t understand her.

Try ‘reversed role-play’

If you have real difficulty getting into your partner’s mind, it may be worth trying a technique called ‘reverse role-play’.

Exercise: Reversed Role-play

Sit down together with no distractions (TV, music, telephone or radio) and the timer set for ten minutesIf you are used to sitting in your favourite place or chair, change placesStart to have a discussion, perhaps about some fairly ordinary subject that you disagree on (but not something serious like religion or education) but taking your partner’s point of view. Perhaps you might change your voice tone and use the kinds of reasoning that your partner usually usesTry to enter into your partner’s way of thinking about the subject. This means, of course, arguing the opposite case from the one you would normally supportAt the end, perhaps for the next ten minutes, you should change back to your usual chair, your own voice and your own point of viewTry to talk together about the discussion you had, and discuss how it felt to be taking your partner’s side, and exploring their way of thinking

This exercise is an interesting one that we have tried many times in the couple therapy clinic, and it usually helps the partners to gain a greater degree of empathy with each other.

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