Healthy Relationship Advice – Are You Too Isolated As A Couple?

There’s lots of different advice available for building a healthy relationship, but one area that needs to be balanced is your social life. It may be that you are living a life which is very restricted, and especially in a new relationship there may be too much reliance on each other, and not enough socializing with others, either friends or family. This is an example of boundaries around the couple that are too tight and impermeable. It may be fine if both of you are comfortable with it, but it is likely to prove problematic if one of you is content with this situation and the other is restless and wants more of a social life.

As with other differences between partners, it would be sensible to discuss the problem and arrange some sort of compromise. It might be that you can set different nights of the week for social outings and for staying at home.

Achieving a balance

Much of what we have already discussed is based on the principle that it is always necessary to strike a balance between the needs and preferences of both partners.

Healthy Relationship Advice For Women And Men

Male and female issues

This includes a balance between male and female in a heterosexual relationship. For example, the man may be keen to solve problems at a stroke, without going on to discuss the issues again; the woman, on the other hand, may feel that the exercise of discussing these issues is healthy for the relationship, and that not doing it would be irresponsible.

Sexual and other forms of closeness

It also includes a balance between the sexual and the general relationship, and between closeness and distance (sexual, emotional, physical and operational). The couple that feel comfortable with the degree of closeness that they have in all these four areas will have a much better chance of a long and healthy relationship than the couple who are in constant conflict over it.

Excitement versus tranquility

There is in most couples one partner who values excitement, while the other prefers calm and peace, and again a balance needs to be found between these needs. Indeed, the issue of arguing may separate those partners who prefer excitement (and who would welcome the arguments) and those who prefer tranquility (and feel uncomfortable with them). In other ways these types of individuals may clash over issues within the relationship.

The more adventurous ones may be keen to try new experiences, while the more cautious will probably prefer the daily routine to be undisturbed.

Openness versus secretiveness

There is also a balance to be achieved between openness towards others and keeping confidences within the couple (the issue of how open or impermeable the boundaries are around the couple itself). Many people who are in a healthy relationship feel that the relationship is a kind of extension of their circle of friends or their families. Others, however, will see the relationship as something that ought to provide enough satisfaction for them not to need too much outside contact.

The new relationship, the family life-cycle and achieving a balance

In all these areas there is a process to be gone through in setting up a new and healthy relationship, but it also needs to be continually revised as time goes on, the couple encounter new challenges, and new balances have to be achieved. This is one reason why it remains important for couples to continue to reappraise their relationship as the years go by, and to ensure that new factors such as the arrival of children, the death of older relatives and changes in job or living arrangements do not unbalance the equilibrium that existed before the changes took place.

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