In Relationship Guide Part I I talked about how the differences between men and women can affect a relationship, and the traits each sex of the species have in helping to build a healthy relationship. In this Relationship Guide Part II I’m going to expand on these differences, and cover a few more critical points and issues.
These male-female differences come to our attention when there is a relationship between a man and a woman. Early in a relationship, when sexual attraction is high and both partners are idealizing each other and giving each other the benefit of the doubt, there is usually no problem. However, when the relationship is older and the couple is trying to solve difficulties that they encounter in the course of the average day, the differences between the male and female way of doing things comes to the fore.
Typically, talking as a wife and a relationship guide or counselor, men like to be focused, logical and independent in their problem solving, whereas women like to rely more on emotional cues and like to network in their approach to problems. How often do we hear the complaint from the man that ‘we have discussed all this before, so there’s no need to go over it again’, as if the problem has been completely resolved, while the woman says, “I know, but I still don’t feel right about it.”
There is no easy answer to this dilemma, but as a guide to a healthy relationship, many couples deal with it by agreeing to differ or by going along with the more dominant partner’s ideas. The bottom line is that for women the most important issues are often to understand the problem and each other, to be heard and to be taken seriously, while for the man it is more urgent to solve the problem and learn from doing so how to solve similar problems in the future.
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